Tip #1 for how to stay sane while on hold to a call centre: Take a snap of an amusing fruit arrangement and post it on your blog.
Tip #2: Eat a banana
Tip #3: Create a slightly disturbing tableau for disposing of your banana peel.
Tip #4: Before sitting down to write your banana’s suicide note, realise you’ve been on hold too long, and this is about to become one of those life choices you’ll regret. Hang up now.